Reply in reply: Thoughts

The words I've read I've heard before,
and although I do agree...
at this point I'm much too tired to really fight.

I've been fighting for so long now-I can't even remember when things all started-
hiding everything, forcing it back in desperate hopes of keeping it from surfacing.
It's as if I've been treading in deep water for hours, and now I'm beginning to weaken.
I feel like a small child complaining endlessly over a simple problem...
I feel like running away, backing into a corner, and staying there.

Just when I thought things were beginning to turn around,
a rush hits my head as my mind is free to once again relive those memories...
What was the key that unlocked my resting mind?
The mind oblivious to all the things that caused it pain.
Why was this time of peacefulness interrupted?

MInd over Matter

Just because you don't think about something doesn't mean it disappears...
Just because you tell yourself not to dwell on things doesn't mean your mind will listen...
Just because you try not to let things bother you doesn't mean they won't...
Just because you act happy doesn't make everything ok...
Just because you want something doesn't mean you are going to obtain it...
Just because you have something doesn't mean you are going to keep it...
Just because you do your absolute best doesn't mean it's enough...
Just because you make others believe you are ok doesn't mean they all believe you...
Just because you have fallen before doesn't mean the next fall won't hurt...
Just because you previously failed doesn't mean you can't succeed again...

There are so many opposites in life,
and so many things we cannot hope to control.

How we choose to handle the emotions in our lives
varies with each individual.

We all learn to cope and grow
as we tackle life's different challenges.

But for me...

Despite having grown stronger and knowing the things I know...

I've come face to face with a new challenge...
one that I can't help but feel I'm losing.