What is the point of the emotion known as jealousy??
By definition the word means:
1. Envious - feeling bitter and unhappy because of another's advantages, possessions, or luck
2. Suspicious of rivals - feeling suspicious about a rival's or competitor's influence, especially in regard to a loved one
We're all capable of owning/possessing the emotion, it's only natural right?...
Feeling that sense of envy, unhappiness, unfairness, sting in your heart/mind is in no way wrong; but with everything, there is a point to where it becomes out of hand.
Your emotions not only affect you, but those around you as well.
So when you allow your emotions to hurt/negatively affect those that love and care for you...it's time to take a step back to think things through in your mind.
Friends are people who:
you can confide in
give support
provide advice
offer a shoulder to cry on
make you laugh
show you a good time
will always be at your side in times of need
They aren't there to be used...
You can't just assume that because they're your friend, you have the right to weigh them down with your negative emotions...
If your going through a rough/hard time friends will always be there with open arms ready and waiting to help...but to me there exists a boundary in which to what extent to share your emotions.
Let's take a side step and evaluate my mind...
(this is MY mind, so in no way am I saying that I'm the righteous one, or the one who is always the victim...NO this is just how my mind is)
In my mind, every little detail is thought/pondered upon, it's just how my mind works; and I'm the type of person who is very independent meaning I don't like to 'burden/worry' others with my own problems - because I feel that they are my own problems, and it's my responsibility to control/take care of them; examining every single thing in my mind results to over thinking...a lot, which in some cases has turned out negatively. But another result of excess scrutiny is that for the majority of the time I am able to work things out by myself, without having to involve other people...in the cases which I have expressed my thoughts/feelings towards something, it is when it's the absolute last resort...I've only come to this twice in my life, both cases being recently. I've also found people who I can confide pretty much anything/everything with, which makes sharing my thoughts a little easier.
Okay, enough of the Cc mind evaluation...
I just feel that when you continue to harbor negative emotions inside you, eventually it will affect those around you, and yourself in harmful/unhelpful ways.
I myself know the feeling of jealousy, and continue to experience it at times...but I've come to the understanding that if I'm constantly dwelling on interactions with other people then I myself am not going to be able to enjoy my time with others.
Because I have decided for myself that the time I spend with the ones I love is more important than anything else, in the future I don't want to think back and have the only memories I have be the ones of other people enjoying their time while I'm sulking by myself. So despite still having jealousy popping up every once and a while, I cast it aside, and make the time I spend with people the best it can be...and so far it's been working, really well(I haven't been doing it all that long) but it does show.
So right now in my mind, there aren't any negative feelings towards anyone, there may be some...frustration, but no hateful/vengeful thoughts at all.
When I say frustration I mean I don't understand why some people choose to dwell and to harbor those emotions that hurt them...I mean just letting go of it all will not only help those around them, but themselves as well.
Why wouldn't someone choose to be happy?
Given time those emotions form a pessimistic cloud around the bearer which anyone can feel, making others not want to even try anymore to help.
It just frustrates me, even more so when those negative emotions are shared with others, afflicting them with unnecessary stress.
On more than one occasion negative feelings have been directed at me...I will admit sometimes those feelings are shared...
But after everything that's gone on lately, I've learned so much, one thing being to:
Forgive and Forget
It does no one good to hold grudges, or to keep a tight grasp on past things...and although it is hard to completely forgive someone or to forget unhappy experiences, just trying is the first step, and with a little time, it is possible...
In one case, of my own, it took me 5 years to completely 'forgive and forget'....those 5 years were in no way easy, I had a lot of ups and downs, majorly downs, but I still pulled through, and I have to say....when I first really let go of it all, I felt so good, and just so light...it really is amazing how some things can weigh you down so much, and you wouldn't even know until it's all been released. Now thinking back if I had known all that I know now, it wouldn''t have taken me 5 years to let go of everything.
And so I guess the moral(s) is/are...
You choose how things affect you, but you also choose how you affect other people.
Holding a grudge may be the easiest thing to do, but it doesn't help you or other people in anyway; forgiving may be the hardest thing to do, but doing so will make you and those around you so much happier(don't take the easy way out).
Letting go of something isn't always what we want to do, but sometimes we have to be mature/sensitive enough to know when it's the right thing to do.
Morals are awesome...don't you think? :)
ReplyDeleteYou sound very...wise, cc. Very.
Love you!
Haha really? I must say that's not what was in my mind as I was writing XP...I just like to get these thoughts out there :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should read over some of your creative writings! :) You really do sound much, much older than you are.
ReplyDeleteHaha I read them ALL the time no joke, and I get what you're saying lol I can tell, I guess it's just cuz I've been through a lot... =P
ReplyDeleteYes, I know! :) You have been through a lot! And I'm glad you've learned things from what you've gone through instead of giving up like so many people do. I'm proud of you cc!
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks dani c! ;p I'm proud of you too!
ReplyDelete